I cannot find complete, whole satisfaction in a moment
it makes me fear unhappiness
something you’re not aware of creeps upon you almost without notice,
and it was your fault for not noticing.
paradox:
satisfaction, yet striving
always wanting something better than yourself
but liking where you are
progress that is equal to perfection
and love that is equal to prodding
(not about what you are, but what you’re trying to be)
requires seeing something beyond
your life leading up to a moment
do you ever what happens after the fact?
does life peak in a moment?
like a sine curve
as in, marriage is an equation to find the max
and suddenly my future does not cause anxiety
and I am not asked to choose without knowing
because eternity will seem clear
is that what joy is like?
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